I think that something really important just happened. I was on the train back from Cosfest X.2, and I was just commenting to Jun Fu, an Army friend, that I didn't want to start school when I suddenly felt...sad. It was still ok, until I got off at Tiong Bahru for dinner. Intense sorrow set in, I nearly just cried there and then. I explored a few options, and settled on me being sad as losing the comfortable place in the Army, and having to go to an unknown, school. Some further exploring lead me to the thought that I'm a lonely person, afraid of losing friends in the army, afraid of just drifting away from the people who...I think I really connected with, laughed with, spent time with. It isn't anything very strong, but it's precious to me...which I didn't even realise until I typed it out. Do I care about them, or just about what they mean to me? Am I that narcissistic?
Who am I? I posted this on Twitter, "A face died today, a childish, foul-mouthed, dirty-minded but very comfortable and very natural face. Life is but a stage, and the Bowen you see, merely faces."
Paused for a moment to watch the opening bit of "Up". Does your identity come from who you love? Who am I? I was a Christian, rooted in God. I quit, but, at that time, was rooted as a clerk in ITI. Now that has been ripped away, who am I?
Strange, feeling much better now that I'm talking to my parents, watching TV. The rose-coloured glasses are...back on.
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